How To Tell if Your Man Actually Truly Loves You

It’s how his steamy body glistens in the shower.

It’s how he scrunches up his face when cooking you a scrumptious dinner.

It’s how you fit into his broad shoulders as you cozy up over a Scandal episode.

It’s how he lifts the heaviest bag.

You know you love him because you think about him most of the time; you see yourself growing old together, watching the sun go down, draped with a warm blanket, and sipping hot cocoa.

But the question is:

Is he into you as you are into him?

Is it a two-people dance, or are you alone in this?

Let’s find out, shall we?

He Doesn’t Act Like a Guy I Used To Know.

“Don’t give me any advice. I just want you to understand me and my situation.” ― Garima Soni

When you just want to talk, does he see it as a chore? Is he willing to sit and listen without offering solutions? Or does he want to cruise past by offering solutions right away?

I knew a guy once. Whenever his girlfriend started talking about something that had happened at work, he’d go into fixing mode straight away. He’d say, “Keep your distance. Steer clear of their negativity.”

The problem was that my pal didn’t need solutions. She wanted to be heard.

Too many men don’t realize how they invalidate their woman’s feelings. If your man validates your feelings, it means that he gets you and sees your point.

He knows you’ll ask for his advice if you need it, so he’s never in a hurry to go into fixing mode. Nah, he knows you’re a tough cookie who can step into her big girl shoes and fix her business because he believes in you.

Is It Unpleasant? He Still Goes There.

There will be times when difficult conversations need to be had. But when it comes to relationships, most men won’t go there because it makes them feel as if they’re being blamed for not doing enough or being enough.

But if your dude truly loves you, he’ll sit it out and listen even if it’s so uncomfortable it feels as if ants are creeping up in his pants.

He might squirm and bite his lips to avoid interjecting, but he’ll sit through those hard conversations every single time. Why? Because he’s willing to pay any price to be with you. Your relationship is so hugely important to him that he’s ready to lay his pride down.

If that’s not love, I don’t know what is.

The Last Scoop of Coconut Ice Cream.

Right there in that dimly-lit restaurant, when my boyfriend let me have the last scoop of coconut ice cream, I knew he was The Guy. Five years later, he still lets me have the last piece of cheesecake, which makes me feel loved.

The point isn’t what he does. It’s why he does it.

If your man lets you have the last good thing of whatever, it shows he treasures you and wants you to know it. Love is all about making someone feel they have a spot in your heart, and at times, nothing says it better, like the last scoop of ice cream.

He Causes Goosebumps To Crawl Up on Your Skin.

“Babe, I need your help! I just got this uncontrollable urge to kiss you long and hard!!”

Are those goosebumps crawling up your skin?

If your man texts this, it signals two things; he loves getting physical, and two, he’s got the hots for you. And that’s a good thing.

There’s so much he could be fixated upon, so many people he could be texting, but he thinks of you even when you’re out of reach. You know what he’s doing? He’s taking a bucket and watering those seeds of love.

He understands that love won’t grow without an emotional connection, and that’s why he takes it upon himself to create one by saying some sexual things that make you feel sexually desired.

If your dude does this, girl, he’s into you, like a lot.

He Lets You Have the Final Say.

Say you want grey for your carpet, and he wants brown.

If your man loves you, he’ll go for grey. If your mister loves you, he’ll let you have the final say because he values your opinion and wants to make you feel cherished.

When there’s a choice between big and small decisions, a man who loves you will let you have the final say most of the time.

If your man acts this way, it signals he’s a high-quality guy who understands that a home steered in the direction that a woman leads is a happier, more organized home.

A woman can’t change a man because she loves him. A man changes himself because he loves her. — Steve Harvey

Your Skeletons? No Problem.

I’m a firm believer that not everything needs to be said in a relationship, but you need to be with someone who can see the ugly side of you and still love you anyway.

You’ll be surprised how many people are living a lie, revealing only parts of themselves because they’re in relationships that don’t have space for transparency.

You’re a lucky girl if you can tell your man dark secrets, and he’ll not freak out or look at you in a different light. It means he’s able to separate your past from who you are.

Because in the end, we all have skeletons in our closets, don’t we?

He Can’t Control His Erections Around You.

Saggy teats? Stretchmarks? He doesn’t care. He wants to touch every part of your sexy body.

He looks at you as if you’re the hottest woman in the world. He still grabs you because he can’t control his erection around you, even in moments when things between you are a bit rocky.

If your man wants to bang you all the time, honey, don’t be silly. If he adheres to your sexual requirements, then, embrace it. Remember, there are tones of women out there whose men can’t so much as touch them because they do nothing for them.

Real sexual attraction doesn’t just grow on a man; it’s much deeper than that. If he just wanted to hit it, he’d do it once, then hit the road.

But if you’re together and he feels you all the time, he’s not a sex maniac; He’s actually really attracted to you. Your body turns him on like no other woman’s. So embrace it because you’ve got something great going for you, girl.

He Gives You “That Look”.

You know the one.

No. It’s got nothing to do with sex. It can’t be explained. It can only be felt. The one where he looks deep into your eyes at random moments, even when you look like a hot mess. Even when your hair is all over the place because you’re doing the mothering thing.

That look says; What did I ever do to win her? Boy, am I one lucky dude or what?

They say that eyes are the windows to the soul. At times, eyes speak louder than words ever could.

He Has the Stomach for This.

You know those premenstrual stress days when your hormones rage the war of the century, right? You walk around like a fireball, ready to burn everyone who crosses your path.

Although a whopping 40% of women suffer from PMS, their men don’t actually know how to deal with their lover’s emotions during this period of the month, so they pull away.

But you’ll know whether your dude loves you if he takes action to make you feel better. If he offers to help you with chores so that you can rest a bit more or just gives you the space you need. The best though is if he takes time to go for therapy with you.

Psychologists say that the best way to deal with PMS is to go for therapy, but most men don’t have the stomach for therapy, much less PMS therapy. So if your man can actually attend these with you, latch on to him because you got yourself a catch.

You’re Not Hidden.

Yes, honey, this is actually a good thing. Whether he’s telling them about your next work trip or how you love your green smoothie, all people hear is: “I’m proud of this chick, and I want the world to know.”

If that doesn’t’ scream love, I don’t know what does.

I know privacy is sacred, but you don’t want to be hidden, luv.

If you’re this mysterious woman people know nothing about, we’ll start to wonder, if he never speaks about you, is he really invested in you? The point? What we adore, we flaunt. Chew on that for a sec.

What You Really Need To Know.

Any man can love a thousand women. But a good man loves a woman in a thousand ways.

And it would take us longer to detail these ways. But the bottom line is, a man who is crazy about his lady will say it, show it and act like it even if it means laying down his ego and embracing discomfort. It’s very easy to compare your relationship with others and fail to notice how amazing yours is.

So if your man does these things, you’re a lucky woman because he truly loves you.

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Previously Published on medium

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