“Insanity is knowing that what you’re doing is completely idiotic, but still, somehow, you just can’t stop it.”   – Elizabeth Wurtzel

Hi!  And Welcome back to the third in our Dating 911! series. Reader Discretion is advised. (13+)  When it comes to dating, it would seem anything goes nowadays.  This basically means anyone who would be involved in dating should think of going to a shrink and getting some meds first.  Maybe they will step back from the brink of dating into the safety of psychotropic medications.  Wait.  Nevermind.  Dating.  Right.  Dating.  It’s the crazy thing we all do to attempt to find the person we believe will make our life better, or more meaningful.  And so the Dating 911! Series focusing on the difficulties and trials of dating in the modern world, and what we might want to do about it.  This week the Guide focuses on Dating 911! Help!  Insanity runs in my family.  It practically gallops!

Insanity is the only response to an insane world.  So we respond by constantly choosing crazy things to do.  The world has rushed headlong into things like Xanax, consequence-free actions, and hedonism which would make the great god Bacchus himself blush.  With all this true, dating, especially online dating, would seem par for the course.  Why not just one more thing which can wreck our eternal being and send us into everlasting torment?  Which means you guessed it.  Dating is hell!  All we need to do is add a little brimstone for effect and we can say we have had ourselves a day.
Insanity. n. mental illness of such a severe nature that a person cannot distinguish fantasy from reality, cannot conduct her/his affairs due to psychosis or is subject to uncontrollable impulsive behavior. – Law.com Legal Definition of Insanity
Despite both our aptitude and penchant for a bit of sadomasochistic dating, at the end of the day, we feel no better than when we started.  After all, we got into dating to make positive changes in our lives and world.  We have something to give to the world and love to imbue on someone else.  Instead, when finished with the day the only creature we can give our love is our wonderful dog Oreo.  Don’t get me wrong, he loves to cuddle.  Stinky breath and all.  But deep down we know we would prefer the cuddling and intimacy of another human being.  And in my case, a female of the human species.  So we need to make improvements to our dating strategies if we want to have a successful dating relationship.  Which, of course, is why you are here for a little Dating 911! instruction.

Of course, before we begin this new Dating 911! piece, I want to make no claims to being a psychologist.  Imagine instead, I’m your best friend who gives you the most wonderful dating advice in the world but has a series of train wreck relationships left in my wake.  I’m the person who can give everyone else great advice but cannot take his own.  Which basically means, trust nothing which you read here in Dating 911! and go to better works of art like Shakespeare or Dostoyevsky.  No?  You want to learn from the Dating 911! failure master?  Well, alright then!  Here we go!

Today in Dating 911, we will examine the reasons why we make poor choices when we get into those dating situations.  Not only will we take a look at the failure patterns we developed, but the reasons why we keep finding ourselves stuck in the same loop over . . . and over. . . and over again.  At least if we made different mistakes each time we could claim we just haven’t learned enough about what to do.  We’d be failures, but failing up . . . if it were possible.

Instead, we realize we keep dating a person who ends up being a carbon copy of the last person.  And as much as we absolutely knew that Jill from the biker gang would be so very different than Janice from accounting, their personalities seem like Spock mind-melded both of them with each other.  (Oh wait.  We have too many nerd references in Dating 911!  Oops!). I mean, they seemed to be twinsies in the personality realm.

How is that possible you ask?  Simple!  You, my dear, have entered the world in a time loop.  All you need to do is jump out of the time loop.  What?  You don’t have a Tardis to accomplish this?  Hmmm… Too bad.  Should have quit while you were ahead.  (Yes, Dating 911! makes Dr. Who references too.  Does anyone bet I couldn’t throw a Star Wars reference in there for good measure?  Anyone?)  Realistically, you have become ensconced in a pattern of thinking and acting, driven partially by nature, and partially by nurture, which has turned your body into Sigmund Freud’s wet dream.
“The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four people is suffering from a mental illness. Look at your 3 best friends. If they’re ok, then it’s you.” – Rita Mae Brown
Can one escape the loop?  Aside from the Tardis and possibly a little Genie magic.  I believe it all begins with recognition.  Imagine this Dating 911! post as a 12 step program and you are on the first step.  You need to admit where you fail before you can succeed.  Yes, you are insane.  After all, you do date.  But no, the situation need not be permanent.  And it won’t even require a frontal lobotomy.  How Is that for looking on the bright side?

There are certain patterns we repeat.  And those patterns exist, whether we like them or not.  We know we are driven in certain ways.  This drive takes over, and nothing seems to stop the “love train.”  Except maybe the train wreck at the end.  Today, Dating 911! will take a look at 5 reasons we become stuck in the horrible loop.  Or course, there may be many more.  There is no one size fits all solutions to dating.  However, if you find one of these to be true down in the core of your soul, admit it.  Then join daters anonymous.  I swear it will be a thing someday.  But until that day comes, admit your mistakes, and then resolve to change them.  Hence, without further ado, The Guide proudly presents Dating 911! – 5 Reasons We Get Stuck In The Dating Nightmare.  (Aside from dating online is insane, of course.)
The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four people is suffering from a mental illness. Look at your 3 best friends. If they're ok, then it's you. - Rita Mae Brown Click to Tweet Dating 911! 5 Reasons We Get Stuck In The Dating Nightmare
“The big problem of our modern society is that we feel that we are separated from the nature. But it’s just the opposite. We are interrelated and our DNA is the same. And only when human beings understand that, the nature will not be obstacle.” – Mary Abramovic

1) Our DNA Tells Us To Do It 
Hold on.  I told you this would be useful and now you say you have to fight against DNA.  That’s it!  You want your two dollars back!  Who cares if you never gave me two dollars.  You demand a refund on money never spent.  I understand.  Fighting with your DNA sounds like a losing proposition.  I would argue something else.  Knowing your DNA tells you to do something, may give you a clue about how to handle those drives in a more positive light.

But let’s get to the crux of what your DNA tells you.  Your DNA tells you mothering, and being the hero is good.  And yes, those things are good.  For guys, the drive to be a hero for your spouse, children, and family is a good thing.  And for women, mothering instincts are necessary to raise up a future successful generation of men and women to take over after us.  Biologically, they feel like imperatives.

In dating, here’s where they go wrong.  For a guy, he sees a girl who’s in trouble and then wants to rescue her.  The man sees a woman who is troubled, and they figure out a way to fix their plight and save them. The problem occurs when you mesh that with messy romantic feelings, possible provincial attitudes about women, and a blindness to the brokenness of the individual you attempted to save.

For a woman, her mothering instincts kick in when she sees the broken male.  This broken male resonates with the woman on a subconscious level.  They feel like they need nurture and protection.  And if you only give that to them, they will be changed, and your biological purpose fulfilled.  Only this individual has been broken for a very long time.  And changing them ends up turning into an hour on a Jerry Springer show you never imagined you would arrive at.

In both cases, whether male or female, your instincts to protect or nurture the hurt individual kick in.  But this does not fix the person’s brokenness.  This existed long before you and is likely to continue long after you.  Even if you did somehow fix the brokenness, the initial romantic confusion between the two of you would be resolved by the formerly broken person walking away from you.  Because salvation and romance never go together very well.  It’s more like oil and water.  One can be grateful they were saved.  Eternally grateful.  But the perceived power imbalance would necessitate relationship failure in the end, no matter the romantic feelings there might have been.  And no amount of Obi-Wan Kenobi’s in the world is going to bring enough hope to undo the galactic-sized distance salvation creates in romance.  (See… I can do Star Wars too.)

“Almost every month, I have a day where I get stuck in the mud of me. I used to blame hormones and PMS. After I hit 50, I blamed the lack of hormones. But men get stuck, too, so it must simply be the human condition.” – Regina Brett
Hormones by Nick Youngson CC BY-SA 3.0 ImageCreator
2)  Hormones Override Rational Thinking 
Obviously, if we are human, and not some cyborg variation, we have hormones coursing through our brains.  For those of the XX persuasion, they get estrogen injections on a somewhat regular basis.  And for those of the XY persuasion, testosterone dominates us from time to time.  Suffice it to say, we are a chemical laboratory waiting to explode.  Everyone gets hurt in the process.  No one gets untouched.

It comes down to this.  Oxytocin gives women a more immediate connection to their emotional center and feelings. This is a beautiful thing.   It also leads to instant feelings of caring and nurturing toward another individual.  When caught in the emotional center of the universe, a couple of things emerge, however.  One, nurturing instincts kick in drowning out other, more practical, considerations.  Two, the emotional centers override questions of good vs. bad, or right vs. wrong.  Instead, it focuses on how to protect and nourish.  So when the bad in a person exposes themselves, it frequently gets ignored for other, “more important” things.

Before one’s screams sexism, let me say this.  One, Oxytocin does affect both men and women.  But in studies, it has a more immediate impact on women.   Two, this emotional connection happens for a reason.  And the reason is supremely good, which makes women, in my opinion, amazing.  And three, the connection to emotion doesn’t eliminate rational thought or make women crazy.  It just means they focus on other things more important in the moment.
“Almost every month, I have a day where I get stuck in the mud of me. I used to blame hormones and PMS. After I hit 50, I blamed the lack of hormones. But men get stuck, too, so it must simply be the human condition.” – Regina Brett Click to Tweet
Men are much more depraved with testosterone coursing through their brains.  Most honest males will admit this.  Testosterone does a few things which turn us into animals.  One, it makes us aggressive.  We become protectors.  But we also can become violent.  Two, it makes us overly amorous.  In our need to express our eternality, we succumb to all kinds of selfish desires.   Three, our amorous feelings derived from lust fool us into thinking we love someone.  As the feelings are derived from hormones and not a true connection to the other individual, we will almost always be let down.

Hence, for both sexes, our hormones fool us into thinking these feelings come from love and not our hormones coursing through us, causing us to react in certain ways. In this confused state, we end up accepting behavior and/or taking actions we might otherwise abhor.  For the female, the bad boy ends up walking into our life.  And for the male, we end up inviting in those people we aren’t even sure we like.  Or we invite in those which drive our excitement level instead of other things.

“Stories and narratives are one of the most powerful things in humanity. They’re devices for dealing with the chaotic danger of existence.” – Wes Craven

3)  We Create Narratives Which Reinforce Behavior Instead Of Changing What We Are Doing 
I remember when I first attended this Rhetoric Class at UC Berkeley.  Essentially classes in Rhetoric functioned as a large Pre-Law major for those who liked to argue.  It would take a topic and help you break it down from all sides.  Or in some cases, it would explain the power of using certain tools to convince others to hold your side’s position.  One of those lengthy, dry essays had to do with the power of narrative.  People believe things based on the stories they create for themselves.

Initially, I felt very insulted by the theory proposed in the piece.  I don’t make up stories that tell me to believe one thing or another.  I could be honest with myself about whether I was being a jerk or I did the right thing.  Who had a right to tell me I made up stories to justify or defend the things I did? I could look at the world objectively.

Eventually, as a bit of a storyteller myself, the thought slowly started to creep into my brain.  Stories are powerful tools for changing the way people look at the world.  If they weren’t movies, books, and the theater would have died out long ago.  These powerful stories can tell us who we are, what we think, how we should behave, and what possible consequences there might be for actions we take.

What it comes down to is this.  At the end of the day, we have to live with ourselves.  We need to think of ourselves as being good people if we are to live with ourselves.   This means even people we consider evil need to come up with some sort of story about how they are good in order for them to live with themselves.  The dictator becomes the benevolent caregiver.  The murderer becomes the protector or the defender of others.  And the thief turns into Robin Hood, spreading the wealth around to people in need.

How does this work in romance, you ask?  It doesn’t.  Ha!  Ok, maybe it’s not a question of whether it works for people, but how it functions for people.  It functions when we tell ourselves the story of a single date.  What happened on the date?  What did we do?  And what did the other person do?  Did they say something we liked or didn’t like?  Were the feelings we experienced real, or not?  Did you feel the excitement?  Or was it just a slow burn?  Were you bored? Or did you hang on every word?  Did the kiss at the end of the night make you want more?  Or did it make you feel the other person rushed you?
“Stories and narratives are one of the most powerful things in humanity. They're devices for dealing with the chaotic danger of existence.” – Wes Craven Click to Tweet
All of these questions swirl through your head as you face the reality of dating.  Once the night completes, you tell yourself a story about what happened last night.  You went out on a date with this amazing person who made you feel alive, and the kiss at the end of the night was magic. Conversely, you went out with a real dud.  But the Chemistry didn’t work and you just don’t mesh well with this person.  (See Dating 911! Dating terms.)

Then carry those experiences out to a series of dates with a series of people who came into your life.  It’s like a science experiment where the repeated behavior turns into laws we accept about the universe.  At first, we might have found the story to only be a rational description of one date.  But through repeated experience, we turn those stories into maxims which dictate how we, and others should behave.  Our dating experience gets processed and codified.  In simpler terms, the story we tell ourselves becomes embedded so deep we miss out on who the person is before us.  And the uniqueness of this individual fades far into the distance.

Instead, we focus on our own subjective experience of what’s going on.  Not only that, we fixate on our subjective experience of the moment, not realizing how much the progression of the day impacted our current feelings. So the thought processes we have determined our reality. Let’s examine what could happen on a date.

A woman goes to a pub to have drinks and possibly dinner with a guy for the first time.  She has talked to him online, and on the phone a few times.  The guy seems nice, until she walks into the bar sees him, and immediately starts thinking to herself: “This guy has no sense of style.  Something about his face must not be trustworthy.  There’s just something not right.  There just seems to be no chemistry here.

After a rough first go of it, she decides to go on a date with a different gentleman.  She wasn’t as excited about him as she was the first guy.  But one look at him and things begin to change immediately.  She begins to think to herself the following: “There’s just something about him.  He seems like the warmest and friendliest person I’ve ever met.  I can just tell he’s got something special.  I love how commanding he is in a room.”

Those feelings become the story.  But what if those feelings actually find root in other, more personal issues, having only to do with the world of the woman or man who walked in the room in the first place, and nothing to do with the other person.  Let’s take the previous examples of dating evaluations of an individual and turn them on their heads, shall we?  We will unpack the good and bad date with what’s really going on buried deep down in those stories they have created.

The woman on the first date begins to have strange thoughts.  But her subconscious narratives are really telling her this. “Western wear and cowboy boots?  Really?  The most pretentious teacher ever wore them constantly.  Who does he think he is?  John Wayne?  And that face.  Those eyebrows are just like my uncle Bob’s.  And he cheated and stole from our family and lost of ton of money to gambling debts.  He must be untrustworthy.  In addition, he didn’t respond to me about the story I told about the puppy.  What guy doesn’t like puppies?  Hence, we must have no chemistry.”

But what if the woman had been given a background sheet before you went on the date? It read the following: “Name? Jim Sanders.  Greatest Hero?  Bob Everett who was a cowboy who saved his family from destitution, taking him in after his father deserted the family when he was nine.  Biggest Pet Peeve?  Liars and thieves.  Helped his aunt recover 50,000 in lost money from a scam artist.  Biggest fear?  Dogs.  A Dog bit the bottom of his earlobe off when he was eleven.  Had to have it surgically repaired.  Wears hair down to cover the scaring.”

First, I bet the woman doesn’t bring up the puppy story.  Maybe she introduces the idea of puppies slowly, but I bet it never comes up in conversation, especially on a first date.  Those eyebrows may turn from looking like Uncle Bob’s angry eyebrows to looking like cousin Dave’s thoughtful ones.  And as for the cowboy attire?  The may find it funny, but I’m betting she finds them a little endearing too.

Now take the second date. The woman arrives on the date after an excellent day at work.  She accomplished so much and is feeling on cloud nine.  While she wasn’t super excited about this date to begin with, who cares?  She walks into the date and has a totally different subconscious reaction going on.  She starts thinking this, subconsciously. “Woah!  This man looks way better in person than he did in the photos.  Maybe I should tell him that.  But that would be weird.

Besides, it looks like I got a bargain. Oh wait, he gave me a hug.  It felt warm.  It reminds me of my aunt Betty who gave such warm and loving hugs.  I feel so badly she is in the hospital right now.  And that cologne.  My dad wore that.  Reminds me of Christmastime by the fireplace and mom and dad smiling knowingly at each other.  And wow, does he seem to have a presence with other people around.  In addition, he doesn’t put up with BS like my uncle Jimmy used to with his wife.  She would run all over him.  Poor uncle Jimmy.”

But what if she had been given a profile of the second man she went out with beforehand and it read something like this: “Name?  Carl “Deadbeat Dad” Burns.  Greatest Hero? Bernie Madoff. Carl believes him to be a misunderstood genius with a head for business opportunities.  Biggest Pet Peeve? Women who get fixated about YouTube videos of puppies and cats.  Biggest Fear?  That he could be dominated by someone else.  Has a tendency to fight all authority.

I’m betting the woman starts thinking about where in the heck he got the nickname before he walks into the door.  It wouldn’t even matter if Deadbeat Dad meant he went after deadbeat dads since his sister had her ex run out on her and her four children.  And the love of Bernie Madoff?  I’m betting those kind eyebrows suddenly turn into Uncle Bob’s angry ones, no matter how dissimilar.  She likewise wouldn’t bring up the puppies.  But not because she felt sensitive toward the date.  It would be because she would feel small for liking them to begin with. And the standing up to people would look more like peacocking based upon severe personal insecurity.  But she wasn’t given this profile before.

In other words, the stories and narratives we tell ourselves have deep roots in how we perceive the world.  Even in the most subconscious of ways.  We make rash connections based upon nothing other than a look, a nod, and possibly a wink.  So we create lovely words which sound like how we feel is rational, when how we feel may be completely irrational to start.  Chemistry and Confidence become buzzwords for things we do not begin to understand.  Which should all give us a moment’s pause about our own subjective reactions, to begin with.

“Real love is the love that sometimes arises after sensual pleasure: if it does, it is immortal; the other kind inevitably goes stale, for it lies in mere fantasy.” – Giacomo Casanova

4) We Have Fallen In Love With Our Own Fantasy Making Skills 
One of the unfortunate aspects of online dating, as I have previously shared, is the penchant to turn those online into projections of what we want instead of real people.  It’s bad enough we do this.  But if you are really committed to making online dating work, you can find your way around the problem.  One of the easiest solutions to the Fantasy trap is meeting a person before you have the opportunity to develop a fantasy about a person.  Then you circumvent the ability to develop the fantasy before you meet.  You have cut the red wire on the fantasy bomb before it had the chance to go off.

Why then, do we keep going back to the same patterns of fantasy creation and development?  Why would we want to get into a rut of relationships which have become doomed to failure?  Wouldn’t we want to extricate ourselves from the cycle of insanity?  I would say these are rhetorical questions with obvious answers.  However, we keep doing this insane dance.  Why then?

There are two reasons.  One of them legitimate, but unfortunate.  The other illegitimate, but true.

Reason Number One:

We end up not wanting to circumvent the fantasy because we fear meeting someone who could do us harm.  Without a doubt, this is possible.  Hearing some of the nightmarish tales of people who have met online to serious consequences should give us all pause.  We should all want to meet in an open place, with people around, and the opportunity to exit, stage left, at a moment’s notice.  How do we handle this deadly serious possibility?  By spending more time to get to know someone online in order to feel secure about them.

Unfortunately, this leads us back to fantasy building.  Because the longer you get to know a person online before you meet, the more likely your fantasies take hold about who a person is.  This leads to the inevitable crash and burn about who they become when you meet up.  Unless you decide to show off your worst self online so that your meeting in person feels like a wonderful dream instead of a horrible nightmare.  But to show off this nightmarish self?  I mean.  Who would want to meet your Dr. Hyde?
Real love is the love that sometimes arises after sensual pleasure: if it does, it is immortal; the other kind inevitably goes stale, for it lies in mere fantasy. - Giacomo Casanova Click to Tweet
Reason Number Two:

You became addicted to the fantasies you created.  It’s so much easier and nicer to fall in love with love itself.  To love a person?  There comes the challenge.  We all have horrible days.  If we want to love, we have to be willing to be loved for our horrible days.  But if we keep people in this fantasy world, we can have this pristine love which no one in their right minds could live up to.  We have fallen in love with a fantasy that has no end.  And now you know why someone invented catfishing.  Hurrah!  Keep that fantasy going forever.  Or at least until it crashes and burns and you can create a new one for yourself. Ugh!

Which leads us to mighty number five . . . Drumroll Please!  We get stuck in the dating nightmare because . . .

“A lot of people think that addiction is a choice. A lot of people think it’s a matter of will. That has not been my experience. I don’t find it to have anything to do with strength.” – Matthew Perry

5) You Have Become A “Failing Relationship” Addict And In Need Of Dating 911! Help 
What, you say?  You are not an addict.  What do I mean when I say you have become addicted to failing relationships???  Hold on while I drop some Psychology on you.
“Love addiction, however, is a compulsive, chronic craving and/or pursuit of romantic love in an effort to get our sense of security and worth from another person. During infatuation, we believe we have that security only to be disappointed and empty again once the intensity fades.” – Ann Smith Psychology Today  
Let’s play the addiction game.  What do people become addicted to?  Drugs.  Sex.  Alcohol.  Gambling.   What is true about all of these things?  You get a high from all of them.  And eventually, you crash and burn from all of them, until you can get your next fix.  In addition, all of them send your dopamine levels sky-high.

So, I’m saying you get a drug fix when you have a failing relationship?  You get high because of a failed relationship?  Wrong!!!  It’s an unfortunate misunderstanding of what dopamine is to say it’s a high producing substance.  It’s merely the substance your neurons let off when they expect a pleasure of some sort.  Dopamine tells you to anticipate the high you are about to receive.  And in some senses, this release of dopamine drives you to commit an act over and over to get high your body knows is coming, regardless of the consequences.  Hence, the addiction aspect associated with dopamine.

So what high am I talking about?  And how do you become addicted?  Imagine you get into a relationship with someone.  The relationship begins with this amazing honeymoon.  This honeymoon period sends your adrenaline motors running and sends your oxytocin levels soaring.  With every touch, caress, kiss, or act of intimacy you commit, you have a corresponding spike in oxytocin.  Followed by a crash.

But the honeymoon period masks any crash one might feel.  At least for a period of time.  The begin of a relationship is as if you are sitting on a pleasure level ten, but then the acts of intimacy send you to an eleven.  You might feel a brief difference.  But your body doesn’t always notice the difference. Not, at least, until the eventual crash.  The honeymoon period ends.  And real relationships begin.  The inevitable hormone crash begins the challenge period of your relationship.

Many people quit relationships then.  Who knows why?  Maybe previous honeymoon periods ended for them and they tried to make a relationship work, only to get burned in the end.  The burning feels devastating.  Especially when the high was as euphoric as first love.  Have it happen once, and you probably get over it.  Have it happen a couple of times, and we become sensitive to the devastation.  But have it happen a few times and we become devastation avoidant.  We do two things after a while.  We seek more oxytocin highs because we have grown to love those.  Those spikes are marvelous.  But then we ditch relationships after the honeymoon period because we avoid the devastation and loss, only to see another honeymoon period.
A lot of people think that addiction is a choice. A lot of people think it's a matter of will. That has not been my experience. I don't find it to have anything to do with strength. - Matthew Perry Click to Tweet
Throw in online dating in the process and this becomes a recipe for disaster.  The multiplicity of relationship failure possibilities compound. And we don’t even know these people, so our reasons for sticking around become non-existent.  Meet the person online. Oxytocin spike. Develop the fantasy. Oxytocin spike. Meet the person in real life. Oxytocin spike. Sometimes it goes well for a time.  Sometimes not.  It always crashes.  Ghost. Meet a new person online.  Another Oxytocin spike.  You get the picture.  Those spikes become important to you.  Consequently, dopamine spike insists you pursue the cycle again to get the next spike.  Consequently, one becomes addicted to failing relationships.
Wrapping Things Up In Dating 911! Help! Insanity Runs In My Family. It Practically Gallops!**
With Dating 911!, part of me like the Paul Revere of the Dating online world.  Or possibly the canary in the coal mine of dating.  And often, I wonder if I’m too broken myself to allow myself to succeed.  But as I said from the beginning of this Dating 911! series, an admission of the problem goes a long way to finding a solution.  Consequently, if you can understand the pitfalls of this new universe of dating in particular or the overall dating scheme in general, maybe you come out alive in the end.

We cannot diagnose a solution until we have defined the problem.  We at Dating 911! have discussed terms.  Then we moved to online dating pitfalls.  And now we have reasons we get stuck in the same rut, despite our desire to escape the madness.  Often attributed to Einstein but never said there is truth to the axiom that “insanity is doing the same thing over and over, and expecting a different result.”  While scientists may repeat studies to determine if a hypothesis is fully accurate, after awhile they conclude the repeated findings constitute a law.  Like Gravity.  You can keep dropping the apple hoping it does something other than crash land on your friend’s head.  But after a while, you will get a beating from your friend for dropping the apple on him.  So you better stop.

With the dating ruts we have developed, it’s like dropping the apple on our own heads over and over again, expecting a different result.  At some point, we might be better suited for a white jumpsuit and a hug.  Or is it the white jumpsuit that hugs us?  I can never be sure.  Regardless we must stop.  Until next week, that is.

Next week, be prepared as the Dating 911! series takes on Dating Scammers.  How to recognize them.  How to protect yourself from them.  Finally, how to make the perfect bag of popcorn and whiskey sour to go with the entertainment you will have at the scammer’s expense in the end.  So don’t miss it.
Continue The Dating 911! Conversation
What was your biggest worry when you started dating?  Have you ever met someone who was in love with love?  What do you agree with most here?  And what do you take the most exception to here?  I would love to hear in the comments.
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If you liked this Dating 911! post, click the like button.  Click it.  Come on!  I dare you.  Pretty please!  Ugh!  Don’t make me beg.  Fine!  Then share this with a few friends.  Comment in the comment section because you know you have something you disagree with me about and need to get it off your chest.  And follow me, because I’m just that crazy.  And get the latest and greatest dating, parenting, southern California, and lifestyle blogs around.  I really do appreciate you getting through this week’s Dating treatise.  And if I could, I would give you all a prize.  But since my budget won’t allow it, I promise to say hello if you ever meet me and sign something for you.  Although I caution that my very signature may reduce its value.  Just like that Van Gogh I signed.  Thanks again.

Until next time, don’t let dating life get you down.  Take an Excedrine. (I was not paid to advertise Excedrine of any of its derivative products.)

David Elliott, The Single Dad’s Guide to Life

**The title is a reference to one of the lines from my all-time favorite Frank Capra Movies: Arsenic and Old Lace.***


The post Dating 911! Help!  Insanity Runs In My Family.  It Practically Gallops! appeared first on The Single Dad's Guide to Life.
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